Been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've come to the conclusion that I should stop doing that.
A lot of things come out to the open when I do any kind of really deep thinking. One of the main thing I tend to do is to put things aside to come back to later. Apparently, I do that a lot, because things have really been stacking up.
I have always thought I was very secure in my faith. There was a time in my life when danger was the norm and by all rights I should not be here writing this. Coming out of that place and situation in the condition I was in was nothing short of a miracle, it wouldn't have been possible without Divine intervention, God was watching out for me.
Lately, my faith has really been taking a beating. After all I've been through that is not an easy thing for me to admit let alone write about.
In the first box...
There are issues at my church that have cause some division among the congregation. A decision has to be made by the members to decide the church's future. I have decided not to take a side as far as the options are concerned. I had voiced out a concern that for something this important more options should be investigated and made available. Some how, it turns into an argument. I regret my part of such arguments that was never my intent.
When those involved tell me that they are being led by God to push for this option or that option, how can I argue with that? I have never felt as if I was being led to do anything. I don't have that connection, I don't think I ever had. I only have what my logic tells me and my logic can only get me so far. I CAN'T argue or fight against anyone who tells me they are being led by God, so I WON'T. I just pray that whatever the outcome that people know that their responsibilities do not end once their ballot is cast, there is more work to be done. Whatever they decide, they should still serve with the same intensity or more since it is basically a new beginning. So, if they are being led by God towards this end, who am I to fight it? But what if two or more sides are "being led"?
I hope this doesn't sound as bad as how it has been ringing in my ears, but I am trying not to make those problems a concern for me right now. Yeah, I guess it still sounds pretty bad.
As I said in the beginning, my faith is really taking a beating these days. I have been trying to charge it up, to "kick it up a notch" through different things. I am reading more, studying more, talking to people about their walk with Christ, I've been praying more than I have ever prayed. I've asked a few people who I feel are so in touch and firm in their Walk to mentor or disciple me. The list goes on...
A friend told me that I should take a leap of faith. He told me that obviously, I've done it before otherwise I wouldn't even be here. Thing about Leaps of Faith is that if you do not have enough, you fall to your death.
