Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Cleaning out the ATTIC: Pt. 2

This is not as easy as I thought it would be. I guess it never was, otherwise I would have dealt with it the first time around.

Second box...
I have had these strong feelings for someone and I have kept it a secret for a long time. Through the years I got to know her and as I got to know her better those feelings remained.
About 3 months ago, I found enough courage to let her know how I felt. It was definitely one of the hardest thing I had ever done. My heart was wasn't racing but it was thumping like a bass drum. In the back of my head I kept hearing Robbie the Robot saying "Danger Wil Robinson, Danger!" over and over. As I was pouring my heart out, all I heard was gibberish coming out of my mouth. I either ran out of things to say or just gave up trying to say anything coherent.

I want to say that I am better off for finally letting all that out into the open but I really can't...
I talk to her even less now. I see her even less than that. I want to go back to the days when we were "just friends" at least there were laughs then.

So the little voice of insecurities lodged deep in my head is yelling...
Courage = stupidity
"It is YOU!!"
What were you thinking?
Go back to the minors!

That little voice really bugs, but at least it's talking to me...


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