Thursday, June 30, 2005

Soulmate... Hahahahaha!

I had a conversation with James the other day. He was telling me about a conversation he had with a friend of his about dating and what women are looking for (or think they are looking for, hahaha). He told her, "the next time a girl uses the word 'soulmate' it will be a deal breaker!"

Hahahaha! I thought that was so funny! We got serious after a while (no really we did!). What exactly is a soulmate? Can a person be evaluated in a matter of 2-3 dates to know they are or not a person's soulmate?

I would question any person reaching the conclusion that the person they have been dating for 2-3 dates (arbitrary number) is either the one or not the one. How can you know a person in such a short time? Isn't the whole idea of a soulmate or being in a relationship is finding out whether or not you can live with this other person? Seeing whether or not their two personalities, their like and dislikes, attitudes, aptitudes and a whole lot of other 'tudes match or can play nice with each other? Love at first sight is all and good if it is LOVE, not flavor of the month.
And what about forcing the soulmate card? I mean wanting something to work out so much that one or the other starts "morphing" themselves into the person they think the other one wants? How much of oneself must be surrendered? I understand compromises and changing quirks and habits, but what about suspending beliefs in the hopes that 'after' assimilation the desired change(s) can and will take place? Isn't that false advertising?

I'll admit I have a 'fantasy person' in mind when I look for my significant other, but I know that it is a fantasy. No one is going to be able to fit in that cookie cutter model of what I think is the perfect person. It is funny that the "perfect person" that everyone ends up with has a lot of imperfections and they all say, "that's what makes him/her perfect."

Soulmate. . . Ha! I agree with James. I think the word is mostly 'mis'used by people with commitment issues or delusional. Tell me I'm wrong. Leave a comment.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It depends on how you define "soulmate" which then serves as a basis in forming a relationship with supposedly "the one". This is tricky because what if you find out much later that your 'soulmate' is not 'the one'? Then what? If married, get a divorce? If single, break up a relationship? No, just remember that people do change because they are maturing as they experience more of life. Same thing goes for love. Thus goes the consensus that the "perfect person" has flaws. But remind yourself why you love him/her in the first place. That in itself is a perfect basis for a "soulmate".

4:21 PM  
Blogger Angel said...

Then wouldn't the use of the term "soulmate" become invalid if they turn out NOT to be "the one"? Isn't soulmate synonymous with the one? And yet some use it to validate a "feeling" or desire to continue (here it comes) getting to know the other person BETTER or to cut short a date (mostly this one, for some).
Anybody else?

1:45 AM  
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3:46 AM  
Blogger rain_scent said...

hahaha...(a good laugh!)...i agree "soulmate" is misused..and honestly it doesn't make sense what if it happened that i never met my soulmate in this lifetime then i ended up with another person who is wonderful enough to make this lifetime a happy one then would that mean that this person would be my soulmate in the next life? (..i was just thinking...)

5:21 PM  

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